Wound Agape

BFF Susan opined in an email yesterday that she missed my sermons/devotionals, but she knew I am struggling through a spiritual desert now….so she understood why I hadn’t written any recently. I had reflected just last week that those everyday sights and sounds that in the past would have inspired me to write a short story about them, no longer moved me in that way.

I wrote back to her that, yes, I am in a desert, no longer attending church (because I am strolling though Eden compared to the drought occurring there right now….) and feeling quite sorry for myself about the whole situation. I received a call from the pastor last week. He had apparently “just been told” that I was no longer attending and wondered why.

In this small church (where average weekly attendance is about 90 between 2 Sunday services) I sing (sang) in the choir, act(ed) as lector, usher, communion assistant and some-time organist. I stopped attending three months ago….and he was “just told!?” Yeah, that hurt.

Then, this morning while reading my ever-present murder mystery, a phrase literally leaped of the (Nook) e-page and slapped me between the eyes. The book, “The Mapping of Love and Death” by Jacqueline Winspear has as its heroine Maisy Dobbs, a psychologist and investigator. She was a nurse¬† in WWI, and part of the background of each novel is her healing from both physical and psychic wounds suffered in that conflict. Her mentor – both professionally and personally – tells her during one passage:

“Wound agape is when we find healing in the blood of the wound itself.”

I am a physician. I daily see gaping wounds (wounds agape, if you will…..). Some wounds require debridement: cutting and scraping away the dead tissue, which allows new blood flow to bring healing and closure.

I am a Christian. I am feeling my gaping soul (soul agape, if you will…..). This wound, too, requires cutting (of my ego) and scraping away (of my hurts) to allow healing.

And of course, the word Agape, in Christian theology, pertains to that love with which Christ loved (loves) us: a selfless, self sacrificing love. A love so strong that he was willing to let his wound gape, and his blood flow to save us.

I am not yet healed, and I am still wandering through the desert……but I know that my gaping wound will eventually heal with His wound apape…..

John 3:16:  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

So, Susan, this one’s for you……meager, but it’s a start…..